It’s a living discipline with me, watching the mind…a daily conscious exercise. And as the mind becomes still in watching, I can follow  the conceptualization of this very moment rise up out of nothingness, its projection (ego) coloring (spinning) the thing-event in front of me, as if the mind and its ego was all there is. But every thing-event, having a beginning and ending, is phenomena and just is what it is. Even ego, regardless of its behavior, just is what it is. Ego cannot really add anything to the subject matter, or take away, tho’ it never ceases pretending to. Thus is ego an illusion…and if taken for reality, self-deception (delusion). Fortunately, it’s just this clarity that frees the mind from its own clouded ignorance.

In watching the mind, then, with whatever the thought, emotion or experience coming up, ego starts to run, to spin away from right now. Thus it will either attach itself to the thing-event, pretending to be the real thing-event or, if the mind cannot, or will not, face the phenomena, deny any relationship (attachment) to the phenomena thereby suppressing consciousness. In either case, the mind thinks that its ego must act, to make a personal effort to run (escape), to spin away from now…unable to fully accept what just is. It makes no difference what the rationale is for the action taken, ego must seek gratification with the action (identifying with) in order to be in control of the situation. That is its nature, as ego sees itself outside of the phenomena and thus seeks security–which exposes the fact in us that it is fundamentally insecure and out of control.

However, by living meditation, just watching what comes up in the mind, and not making any effort to run from now, the ego-projection exposes itself to the intelligence (spirit) that we are. And when this living discipline (the Way of the cross) is firmly established as the mind’s focus, eventually the projection loses its hold on the mind and fades out, as the intelligence that we are ceases feeding the ego the energy it needs to dominate the situation…and ego (the watcher) dies. Even when the mind is disturbed and wants to escape confrontation with the thing-event, if the intelligence that we are refocuses (centers) on right now, and remains still, absorbing life’s energy into ourself, eventually the impulse to run will pass and the subject matter can be faced without fear rather than suppressed. Thus whatever action taken next will be spontaneous, in line with our innate self.

When the intelligence (spirit) that we are Rests as the Center of Awareness, this Center (Ground) Being everywhere nonliterally speaking and nowhere literally speaking, watches (lives) through every thing-event, for by having absorbed life’s energy Into Ourself, we–Intubeing this Center (Watching) Are Before the subject matter (watcher)–in essence, the very Quality and Dimension of Perception (Intuperception). And though all phenomena, including our thoughts, emotions and experiences, are just what they are, the pure understanding Awareness/Intelligence that We ultimately Are remains nonattached–and Free to just Be (Intubeing) even Before (through) the mind and its ego.

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